just to catch up on some things: my ex (son of a bitch) has acquired a new girlfriend right after he broke up with me and newly does not even respond to messages or a call from me; so that's the situation i have to deal with right now. and, unfortunately, i deal with it a lot. actually i could go on and on about all this and what has happened or not happened and what was said, but i don't want to go into detail too much. so that's what's left: hate, anger, disappointment, jealousy, longing and some other desperate feelings (those that made me call him).
i've somehow managed to drink alcohol almost every day in the last 5 weeks and to smoke at least 15 cigarettes a day. i definitely need too much time to forget someone, because somehow i can't stop to feel bad.
with every guy in my life so far it has been more or less a disaster (or let's say it was always unconventional in some way). this right now is the worst i guess, regarding my emotional state. probably i just don't understand how someone can be such an asshole. well, i got to get over it but have no idea how. i'll see how and when it's going to happen. and then i'll try to find a nice guy..... haha, yeah sure...
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