I do everything except for what I should

yesterday: went to an open air event with different bands and saw revolverheld, 2raumwohnung, a band i forgot the name of and i didn't like, and wir sind helden. unfortunately, during the second gig my body acted up and i had to get out of that place. while walking (or whatever you can call my panic stumbling) i almost passed out. outside there were still hundreds of people but i just had to throw up. embarrassing. however, i stayed till the end.
today: i have to continue writing my damn fucking term paper, which is only half done by now. later i'm gonna go play beach. then probably, hopefully term paper again.
next week: the last week before my seminars and internship will start. boohoohooooo. gonna spend it under self-inflicted pressure (finish term paper! finish term paper! finish term paper!)

Relapses

i need somebody. i'm lonely. i have some friends, i have term papers to write, i have an internship, i now have the band, i have volleyball, i have my room mates, i go out, i try not to think too much.
but i also have an ex i still get upset about (and can't forget the negative things and how he treated me sometimes), i'm afraid of the future because time's running, i wake up and go to sleep with an awful feeling inside, i'm restless, and i think too much.
i need somebody. not because i really need somebody but because i want to forget. i need somebody because that makes it easier.

In spite of me

sometimes i tell a stranger all about you / they smile patiently with disbelief / i always knew you would succeed no matter what you tried and i know you did it all in spite of me / still i'm proud to be a part of your illustrious career / proud to be a step up on your way / proud to have known you for the short time that i did and i know you did it all in spite of me / late last night i saw you in my living room / you seemed so close but yet so cool / for a long time i thought that you'd be coming back to me / those kind of thoughts can be so cruel so cruel

(morphine)

Play that funky music

was on the road with the band the whole day and for a gig last night, too. driving there, set up, sound check, playing, dismantling, drinking, ride back. takes a lot of time. of course, i couldn't play some of the stuff and wasn't sure about many things, but this could not be expected after only one rehearsal. anyway, this is really fun and it'll be more fun when i get all the songs into my head and can play them right. with the band members i get along really good, it just matched right away. soooo, i'm probably playing two more gigs with them in october...

I'm in the band

currently i'm at home (at the original home), met friends last night and the night before and had a 'busy' day today. i'm coming from a beer garden, before that i was at the lake to play beach volleyball. in the morning, i went to a band rehearsal. the story behind it: an old friend or rather an old 'sax colleague' (i used to play with him in an ensemble a long time ago, and then again in the big band) lives in the same city like i do, and he's been playing sax in a band for years. the band's second saxophonist is now in a situation in which she may not make it to every gig because of her job. well, i've met this old friend lately now and then and he had the idea that i could fill in for her when she can't make it to a gig. so i was invited to the rehearsal day today to play with the band and check out everything. i know most of the guys from my school days here. right now they're playing with the following instrumentation: drums, guitar, bass, keyboard, 2 sax (would be 3 with me), trumpet, 2 singers. they play cover songs, funk/rock/soul stuff, jazz sometimes. so yea i could play as a substitute at two gigs so far. i'm probably not gonna do the one next weekend because i just need more than one rehearsal before it works on stage. but i'll be definitely with them in october and at other gigs, in case they need me. finally, my practically completed music career will continue now....
rock'n'roll, baby!