Time out

yesterday i somehow survived christmas eve with the family and went out afterwards. today i've been just hanging out here, relaxing, reading, taking a bath and stuff like that. before i had gone home to my dad's place, i met my bf once more. it actually turned out to be a good time and we both exerted ourselves. we came closer again and managed to be nice and to talk to each other. he spontanously had booked a flight to spain though, to stay there for some days. i'll see how everything's gonna go next year; he's a person i often don't know how to handle. i think the difficulty is to keep up things and that's why i don't wanna be too enthusiastic.
ps. no snow yet this winter
pps. i think i've got a seasonal affective disorder

Tried and failed II ?

i briefly talked to an aquaintance lately and she said, what's going on right now? what's wrong with this time of the year? everybody around is in a strange mood, couples break up, and actually that's what i notice too, only today i met another friend with a stranded longterm-relationship. and now even i am in this situation. There were some problems with my bf in the last one or two months and after last night and a disturbing conversation it doesn't look good actually. all i can say right now is that i don't wanna break up, but as ALWAYS i guess i can't fuckin' do anything about it

Tried and failed

yesterday our new flatmate had news for the other two of us: she will move out again as soon as she finds a nice place. after some arguments, mainly with my other flatmate, this is now the consequence.
she needs to have it clean all the time and she thinks we're too different in that point and in general and we just don't really match, plus the rent is too high and the apartment not really what she wants. she made two and a half month here so far.
i dread the whole looking-for-a-new-flatmate-procedure already. we need a man again this time, but who knows what kind of freaks will show up - if anybody shows up at all. you never know how it'll turn out with somebody, you never can tell by the first time you meet him or her. and probably my (older) flatmate and i are just unsocial persons, slobby, lazy and difficult, yet in a different way. i mean we ourselves have never become something like close friends; there are too many things that annoy me about her. but at least we manage somehow to live together.
(ok, and the 'unsocial' might only apply to me)

Ojos que no ven, corazón que no siente

i just had a pizza and salad, i'm stuffed and lazy on my bed and i feel like garfield. i've skipped a lot of my classes lately and my whole studies are passing by right now without really touching me much, neither mentally nor emotionally. i barely meet the old people i used to meet there. i continue attending a spanish course, which is pretty fun although it's getting difficult... then, there's christmas, which already makes me sick, and i can't think of some nice gifts, and for my bf's birthday i decided it should do some flowers and a self-baked cake (if i can ever manage that) maybe or some rum.
a couple weeks ago, i sent off the application for eight months working in england. there's still an interview to come next year. part of me hopes to get an employment, of course, but part of me kind of hopes not to get the job. hmmm this is sick... i'm not totally positive about doing it; england and the people and my accommodation and being gone for so long and what i miss in my studies... sound like a chicken. but serious, don't know if this job is worth it. still think about the USA for a few months during my holidays. whatever....

Pics/Part fourteen