Over the years

Mit der Zeit lernst Du,
dass eine Hand halten nicht dasselbe ist
wie eine Seele fesseln.
Und dass Liebe nicht Anlehnen bedeutet
und Begleitung nicht Sicherheit.
Du lernst allmählich,
dass Küsse keine Verträge sind
und Geschenke keine Versprechen
und Du beginnst,
Deine Niederlagen erhobenen Hauptes
und offenen Auges hinzunehmen
mit der Würde des Erwachsenen,
nicht maulend wie ein Kind.
Und Du lernst,
all Deine Straßen auf dem Heute zu bauen,
weil das Morgen
ein zu unsicherer Boden ist.
Mit der Zeit erkennst Du,
dass sogar Sonnenschein brennt,
wenn Du zuviel davon abbekommst.
Also bestell Deinen Garten
und schmücke selbst
Dir die Seele mit Blumen,
statt darauf zu warten,
dass andere Dir Kränze flechten.
Und bedenke,
dass Du wirklich standhalten kannst...
und wirklich stark bist.
Und dass Du Deinen eigenen Wert hast.

(Kelly Priest)

This was almost comedy....

ladies and gentlemen, i just have to inform you about the latest events concerning my ex... this night, after my spanish class, i biked over to the sports place to meet two of my volleyball friends to do some sports. they had met there before and i was going to join them. now guess who was lying there at the beach field, too, coincidentally and paradoxically? yes.. my ex bf and his new girlfriend.... this alone was so strange that i couldn't believe it. well, then, like a brave tiger, i walked over to them (my ex was a little shocked and embarrassed to see me, i think) and said hallo what the hell are you doing here? then i asked his girlfriend if i could talk to her and she said yes and i sent my ex away. my friends told me later he was pissed about that and apparently complained that they didn't 'warn' him before that i would be coming, too.
so... i talked to her for quite a time (she's not that great, but actually kind of nice), and we found out some interesting things. for example that my ex told her that we already broke up at the end of last year and that he started to meet her sometimes in february or march (nothing 'more' happened though)... and so on.. obviously he lied to both of us, especially to me, of course.
i doubt that she is so clever to keep her hands off of him now, but at least she heard what i said and she doesn't forget...! she's a woman! funnily enough, she lately had the same breakup-story going on with her ex boyfriend.
well, this whole situation totally sucked but then it was almost very funny, so that i had to drink a beer and a quickie afterwards. normally something like that only happens in bad soap operas i guess. i've seen my ex about 4 times since we broke up; i guess this has an end now... unfortunately, a normal contact or friendship is extremely difficult when one person is.. uhm.. a liar...

In brief

cigarette units: see last post
alcohol units: a bit less than before, but still.........
feelings: not better
nightlife: late sleep and disturbing dreams
sex: nope
dates or something: none
the meaning of life: probably 42