Get over it!

just to catch up on some things: my ex (son of a bitch) has acquired a new girlfriend right after he broke up with me and newly does not even respond to messages or a call from me; so that's the situation i have to deal with right now. and, unfortunately, i deal with it a lot. actually i could go on and on about all this and what has happened or not happened and what was said, but i don't want to go into detail too much. so that's what's left: hate, anger, disappointment, jealousy, longing and some other desperate feelings (those that made me call him).
i've somehow managed to drink alcohol almost every day in the last 5 weeks and to smoke at least 15 cigarettes a day. i definitely need too much time to forget someone, because somehow i can't stop to feel bad.
with every guy in my life so far it has been more or less a disaster (or let's say it was always unconventional in some way). this right now is the worst i guess, regarding my emotional state. probably i just don't understand how someone can be such an asshole. well, i got to get over it but have no idea how. i'll see how and when it's going to happen. and then i'll try to find a nice guy..... haha, yeah sure...

...

eins und eins das macht zwei
drum küss und lächle dabei
wenn dir auch manchmal zum heulen ist
glücklich wer das heute genießt
und was vorbei ist vergisst
es kommt wie es kommen muss
erst kommt der erste kuss
dann kommt der letzte kuss
dann der schluss

(h. knef)