Bella Italia

came back today from a trip to bologna with a friend (3 nights). stayed at her brother's place, which he shares with two italian guys. beautiful city. che bella!

Botswana, Tanzania

......this is an inside joke... nevermind...
my room mates are both at their parent's and i have the place for myself. i felt that i must post here again and at first i was going to write everything that happened in the last months, but then it's just too much. so only some extracts...
i've been having a liaison since about 2 months, and then with somebody i already know pretty well and never thought something like this could happen... what can i say.. life affords so many surprises... i don't know where this will go.
since i have semester break, i can go out a lot and i do so. at the weekend i was out till 4 in the morning, and monday was a crazy night too. i met with my good friend s. at the place where she works, ate and drank, later a friend of her joined us. we continued at a little pub where we often end up, and which is the best place to meet all kinds of crazy people. when they closed we headed for a club that is open till 4 o'clock in the morning. meanwhile we had made friends with a guy who could convince us to help him with a loft bed he wanted to install in his hall right above the apartment door. joni, a taxi driver came with us too and so the 5 of us, all except for joni totally drunk, lifted a 100 kilo wooden board up to the intended beams until it got jammed between the walls, so it could, despite all effort, not be moved anymore. nobody died or got seriously injured, which was a pretty good outcome. in the in end my friends and i hung out at the apartment all night drinking wine and smoking, and it was at eight in the morning when we all got coffee before going home and our new friend went to work, still totally fucked up without having showered or brushed his teeth. botswana, tanzania.
apart from that, i'm bored and therefore watch sports on TV all the time. the fact that i'm bored is kind of silly because i actually have to write term papers. but i just can't motivate myself.
rehab is over, and i can move as i could before. i have already played beach volleyball 3 times recently and i go swimming once a week. nevertheless i started smoking again, and smoke quite a lot.
so in the end, there's nothing really new.

Autobiography in five chapters

I

I walk down the street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in
I am lost ... I am hopeless
It isn't my fault
It takes me forever to find a way out

II

I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I pretend I don't see it
I fall in again
I can't believe I'm in the same place
But it isn't my fault
It still takes a long time to get out

III

I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it is there
I still fall in ... it's a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault
I get out immediately

IV

I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it

V

I walk down another street

i think i'm on chapter 3 now...

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose

it's european championship time! i watch nearly all the games and when germany plays we are always somewhere out to party afterward. and every time i go out i get totally smashed... and meet lots of people, men ;-), old friends (have loose contact with my former room mate again) and have so much fun just doing what the hell i want. life should always be like this. i've had a really good year so far... can't wait till next wednesday when germany plays the half final against turkey.
plus: this weekend, our first and second volleyball team takes part in the outdoor tournament in bavaria with camping etc. the same event we went to last year. i'm gonna go with them, although i can't play. the only thing i'm still waiting for is that i completely 'get back' my left leg, so that i can play volleyball again. i still go to rehab, which has become kind of an annoying chore in my life.

Nerve-wracking

oohhh great: last week i was operated at my back because of a herniated vertebral disk (bandscheibenvorfall).
at the volleyball tournament on saturday 26th i was already in pain, but still i wanted to play and it worked somehow, although i couldn't move properly. then, on sunday, i met some friends at the beach field to lie in the sun, study and relax a little. i had the glorious idea to skate there; at least it was quite plain to me that i could not play beach volleyball in this condition.

when we decided to go home, i barely could move or walk. my back and my left leg hurt so much that i cried on the way to the parking lot. a dear friend had got her car, and drove with me to the hospital. the first one couldn't help us and we had to go to another one, which meant 15 more minutes to drive.
although i wasn't able to move or sit or walk, these idiots tried to do a little stretching with my leg, which of course didn't help, so they gave me a shot in my back and sent me home again. they also gave me a prescription for pain relievers, and since this night i've been 'on drugs' constantly (a new experience for me, because i never take any tablets or something because i never get ill).

when we were home (meanwhile three hours had passed), my back was better because of the injection but my leg still hurt - same thing the next day. well, fortunately i called a good private clinic here and got an appointment for the following morning. so then the next journey started. checked by the one doctor, infusions against the pain (which made me almost pass out), sent to the next doctor somewhere else for MRI and finally diagnosed with a herniated vertebral disk (plus a piece of spinal disk that had detached itself and compressed my nerve), back to the clinic and sent to a doctor who strongly recommended me an operation.

he offered me an appointment for the next day, and so i packed my things and went. the operation apparently went well, the first 2, 3 days after the anesthesia were not much fun. one night the pain in my leg came back, and i thought i was going to die. i was actually screaming and whining until they gave me some morphine, and then i didn't feel anything anymore.
after five and a half days in hospital, i went home again yesterday, the piece of spinal disk in my bag.
it's so annoying.. no sports for the next six weeks except swimming... my left leg's nerve is still weak and i have to go to physiotherapy and rehab. otherwise i feel good, just a little tired and slow from the medication. weather is beautiful...

Long time...

... no see.
it's such perfect weather today. my last day in school lies behind me, and before i went home by train i bought a book in MA and then strolled through the city, a coffee to go in my hand, enjoying the sun and warmth.

in short: some important things (since it would be too much to write down everything that has happened the recent weeks):
- the second part of my school internship, which started in february, is now over.
- seminars start next week. sucks.
- new room mate since mid of february. old one is in new zealand.
- i quit smoking about 3 weeks ago. almost quit. i'm down to a maximum of one cigarette a day. if at all. some days i don't smoke at all. boys and girls, this is no april fool's joke. i haven't bought cigarettes since weeks. the funny thing is i didn't plan to quit. it has just happened somehow.
- band weekend was at the end of february. it was lots of fun and then ended with a big argument.
- i have just been to DD for a few days to visit my sister and dad.
- i wrote one of my term papers and i canceled one, which means that i have to repeat this class.
- no boyfriend in my life, which is great!
- oh and i'm 27 now. i liked the 26, i don't like the 27. it's getting so close to 30...

Helau

the gig last night - before writing a three hour exam this morning, which i definitely failed:

Girls just wanna have fun

amazing friday night!
friends, lots of alcohol, singing, bar hopping, dancing, kissing, making out, the first tram in the morning back home, and the obligatory hangover linked to returning embarrassing memories (what the hell did you do??) - it was all-in. crazy. how old am i again? ;-)
i've been doing good recently. uni is stressful, but somehow all this goes by.
on friday we have a two hour gig with the band at a party. we'll now have a gig every month until summer. cooool.
i'm tired.

Express yourself!

New year, new luck

1) how was 2007 for you?
it started subliminal pretty bad, it got worse, it was full of thoughts and emotions. i learned what it is like to be screwed, and that love is a bastard. additionally: the usual stress. on the other hand i had some really good times and made new experiences. my good friend, mr. alcohol, helped me more than ever ;-) everything had gotten better by the end of the year.

2) what do you plan for 2008?
as always there are many things to do... i plan to go abroad, i plan to write ALL my remaining term papers, i plan to do useful seminars, i want to eat healthier, etc.

3) what was the most pleasant event last year?
i had a few pleasant events. see number 13

4) what was the worst event last year?
see number 6

5) did you fall in love?
no

6) did somebody break your heart?
yes... and i think i still hate him for that

7) did you break somebody's heart?
no... as far as i know...

8) did you go to parties?
uhm, sure

9) did you go to a different city?
yes, but nothing worth mentioning

10) were you drunk more than once last year?
hell yeah

11) how often did you have "ups and downs"?
too often.. everything was very emotional and disturbing, and unfortunately the “downs” prevailed

12) did you spend a lot of money?
i think i didn't buy anything big. still, i always spent all the money i had

13) did you do a lot last year?
yes, i went out a lot, met friends, went to concerts, i played volleyball very often, had tournaments and match days, started to play in the band etc. these things were the good part of 2007

14) if you could wish for anything, would you turn back time for a year?
hmm good question. to tell the truth, i don't want to think about this

15) did you get a job?
yes and no. i got a job, but never had the chance to work :-D

16) did you meet new people?
yes i did. some at uni and school, some at volleyball, a new roommate, the guys from the band, and besides that, i got to know better some older friends

17) did you lose people?
well, yes, i lost a boyfriend ;-) (and two really smart little guys…). and temporary i "lost" a friend to england

18) what are your wishes for 2008?
generally: sex, love, rock'n'roll... or so

19) if 2007 was a song, which one would it be?
first it was something like a mixture of 'dry your eyes mate' and 'at seventeen', before it became an indefinable song consisting of a few different styles. then it definitely turned into a tower of power song, 'attitude dance'