I'm a loser baby

oh man everything's a mess. i just don't see a purpose in my life or something i really can look forward to. i got a letter of refusal for the job in england today. i don't know if i would have gone there, but still - it would have been nice to have the possibility for it. my f****** bf dumped me. i think about him the whole time and miss him and hate him at the same time. i guess just nobody wants me... my original circle of friends here has disintegrated. i realize that i'm just not good in making new friends and being open and genial. jaaa, this is my life! tonight i'm gonna go out with our new flatmate, and then gonna see my ex flatmate again. saturday and sunday i'm playing at a tournament, where we also gonna party and spend the night. so i try to do a lot of things; sometimes it works and i'm distracted, sometimes it does not at all.